The tickets were booked, the bags were packed and my living room was full of the unmistakable stink of people from Toowoomba. Farkin.net was going to Syndey for the Bicycling Australia trade show and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do to stop us.

The Sydney trip had been in the pipeline for months and after much umming and ahhing over whether we would go, where we would stay and who would be in effect, the decision was made to bite the bullet and go freestyle with no booked accommodation, just tickets, bags and pockets full of drinking money.

The night before we were due to fly out, the Farkin board of directors assembled in my lounge room for the first of many of the weekends Executive Business Planning Sessions. The minutes from this session show that the main topics raised were;

- How do we drink this carton of Tooheys Pils as quickly as possible?

- What the hell are these neoprene things?

- What is the low-blow game and how is played?

With these and many other important topics discussed at length and finally resolved, the crew turned in around 1am for a long and restful nights sleep.

That was until our alarms went off at 5am reminding us we had to get our lazy bodies out of bed and to the airport for the red-eye special to Sydney. I won’t bore you with stories of airports, planes, takeoffs or landings, but the Farkin Executive Corporate Relations team, namely Josh, Adam, Scott, Dom and myself all made it to Sydney in one piece, jumped in a taxi and got dropped at Circular Quay to begin our journey through the CBD in search of a backpackers hostel.

It was my first time in Sydney and I for one was amazed with how bloody huge the place is and how much traffic there is at all times of the day and night. The city has a real sense of history to it, with buildings from the early 1900s sitting alongside modern high-rise developments. I got my first look at the Harbour Bridge (ooooh, ahhhh) and a feel for the amount of walking we’d be doing over the rest of the weekend as several places gave us the runaround with excuses like "We don’t take Australians" and "We won’t be open until lunchtime, but you can come back and check in then" until we finally found a place that suited us to a tee.

A word of advice for any disorganised traveler looking for a place to stay in Sydney; go to The Maze backpackers on Pitt Street. We were greeted by friendly, helpful staff, made to actually feel welcome, hooked up with a sweet 5 bedroom room for $19 each a night and get this, they had a free pool table! Needless to see we were more than happy with our new home and after we had settled in we set out to find a suitable venue for our Pre-Trade-Show Corporate Relations Strategy session.

A suitable venue for said session was found in the form of the Criterion Hotel. We soon discovered that those weirdos in New South Wales don’t have pots of beer, only schooners and some strange size called a middy, we decided to stick with something we were familiar with and ordered a round of cleansing ale to kick start the session.

The minutes from this session show that topics covered included;

- Where the hell is this trade show anyway?

- How are we going to get to it?

- Where are we going to catch a train from?

Working out the answers to these questions took a good 10 minutes of heated a discussion, but with them resolved all that was left to do was get in some good solid drinking for the next three hours until it was time to head out to the Rosehill Gardens Conference Centre and check out the latest and greatest gear the Australian bike industry had to offer.

The Farkin Executive Corporate Relations team emerged from the Criterion Hotel at the appointed hour and made our way into the bowels of the Sydney mass transit system. Along the way I managed to bust out a massive rail slide down a mammoth escalator, attempting to replicate the feat Dom had a major off onto the escalator stairs hurting his ankle and wrist and proceeding to whinge about it for the rest of the day, skirt.

Thanks to the efficiency of the train network in Sydney we made it to Rosehill cheaply and easily and walked through the door, flashing our bling-bling media passes like the straight up pimps we are. We soon discovered the joys of the test circuit and while Dom cut some seriously tough tough laps on a sweet looking cruiser, I jumped onto (into?) a recumbent trike and cut a couple of laps before rolling it in a shower of sparks and cursing trying to see just how hard one could corner (not as hard as you’d think). We made a quick exit, stage right, from the test track and headed into the trade show proper.

Inside the trade show we met up with Rik and Shayne (wombat) and started trolling the booths looking for things of interest but allow me to be frank with you here, for the most part, the turnout at the trade show was disappointing.

With big name importers like Groupe Sportife, Stever Cramer Imports and Advance Traders all absent it was left to Norco and Giant to carry the torch for the big brands and in that respect they did not disappoint. Giant had the full range of ’04 product on display including bikes equipped with what would have to be the first SPV forks in the country. Norco on the other hand only had frames from their higher end bikes on display but they did have one ace in the hole, Derek Yates who would have to rank as the most enthusiastic and knowledgeable employee I encountered from any company at the show, big ups to you Derek.

As far as the smaller companies went, the stand for Downhill Direct and Keewee manned by Bill (dhd) and the Keewee crew was, in my opinion the most interesting with lots of new product and friendly people willing to talk, show and even let you ride their bikes. The Rohloff stand was also pretty shmick, with a working Rohloff hub butchered in the name of marketing allowing you to look inside and see how the planetary gearing system worked.

The show drew to a close with an impromptu ramp session aboard a Downhill Direct Da Bomb CR8 (thanks Bill!) and we hooked up with Rob (Techno Destructo) and checked out Paramatta before heading back into the city with Rik to end the night with a few more quiet schooners and sweet, delicious Pide.

Sunday dawned and the crew headed up to Circular Quay to catch a ferry across to Manly and meet up with Rob again. The ferry ride was awesome from my ‘hopeless-tourist’ point of view as I got to see both the Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House, at the same time! The ferry trip left me with no doubts as to why Sydney is so popular with the tourists, the harbour is incredibly picturesque and seeing it by ferry was a privelege, I never thought I’d say this but you New South Welshmen (and women) are damn lucky.

After arriving in Manly and checking out the Steyne Hotel and the local purveyors of fine pide, we hooked up with Rob and headed out to Lizard rock to watch and photograph Mark Turner punching out the big gap drop there. Mark came, rode and punched the drop clean as a whistle and we got to check out the sweet run that’s been built out there, a great mix of natural terrain and built stunts that would prove a challenge to just about any rider.

Aside from being a super talented rider, Mark’s a genuinely nice guy as well and he came back down to the Steyne hotel and kept us company over a few quiet beers afterwards. Turns out Mark’s heavily involved with the Red Bull Ride as course manager forseeing the marshals and a star of the Red Bull Ride 2 video, talking about some of the sections. Mark also introduced us to Mike Atkins, one of the course designers, builders and judges of the Red Bull Rides, who was also a damn nice guy and infectiously enthusiastic about pushing and developing new school riding in Australia.

Weary heads put an end to festivities in Manly and we made the ferry trip back to the CBD for a final Post-Trade-Show Executive Strategy seminar. The minutes from this meeting show;

- A full carton of Tooheys New was consumed

- Toowoomba are the undisputed pool champions of the universe (bastards!)

Our heads ready for sleep and our stomachs ready to pack it in once and for all in protest of the steady diet of beer and pide we had subsisted on over the weekend, we hit the sack in readiness for another red-eye special flight back to Brisbane, which we obviously made or I wouldn’t be here to tell you about it.

Despite the trade show being a disappointment, the weekend itself was an awesome experience and so much fun it should be illegal. Plans are already in the works for a trip to Sydney in mid-November for the joint New World Disorder IV: Ride the Lightning and Drift: A New Race premiere’s, where hopefully we’ll get to meet even more of you guys and drink even more beer.